The fullness of our life journey might hinge on the amount of empathy we share along the way. The dictionary defines empathy as the intellectual identification with or vicarious experiencing of the feelings, thoughts, or attitudes of another. The ability to disconnect from ourselves and connect to others is easier for some individuals as compared to others.
Unknowingly, when we should listen, observe, and connect to the feelings of the other person, our actions might actually widen our understanding of the persons plight. Big Brothers and Big Sisters shared the “empathy blockers” that a person can use as a gauge to determine if their interaction connects or distracts from showing empathy.
The Empathy Blockers
1) Intellectual understanding of the situation. To understand at the thought level not at the feelings or heart level.
2) Sympathizing or commiserating. There is no “I” in sympathy – attention is on the other.
3) Giving advice or trying to fix.
4) Explaining. Let me tell you why this is happening to you.
5) Correcting. Connection before correction. Connection before direction.
6) Consoling.
7) Telling a story or one upping. Talking about your own experience taking attention off the other.
8) Shutting down feelings by offering reassurance before the person is complete.
9) Educating or evaluating. Empathy before education.
10) Interrogating. Asking questions to satisfy your own curiosity.
Source:
Click to access BBBS%20Mentor%20Learning%20Series%20Module%202%20-%20Non%20Violent%20Communication%20V2.pdf
Educational leaders are at the center of multiple stakeholder groups: students, staff, parents, community, central office. The balanced leader must carefully gauge each situation to determine how to be supportive and yet ensure that actions are aligned to their beliefs and the vision of the organization. Here are a few practical actions that a leader can follow to strengthen their ability to show empathy for others during daily interactions.
– Listen Attentively
– Validate the other’s emotions
– Offer personal support
– Be respectful to the person
Take a few moments today to evaluate the following statements:
1) In one of your most recent interactions with a stakeholder, identify your empathy actions or empathy blockers.
2) What indicators let you know your school’s/organization’s current understanding of the value of empathy?
3) In the next week identify empathy behaviors in the organization that you can affirm or empathy blocking behaviors that you can redirect.
Additional support:
Building Social and Emotional Skills in Elementary Students: Empathy
http://t.co/W41LK6hZtH
Suggested reading:
Teaching With Love and Logic by Jim Fay and David Funk